Everyone suffers, but what if I told you there is a path out of it? A path to peace? If you were suffering and learned of a way out, you’d surely take it right? That path begins with the realization that nothing is inherently good or bad.

Many people have a strong reaction to this statement, they tell me I am wrong: “there are clearly good things and bad things, I don’t believe you.” They may point out specific things which are clearly very bad, things like murder, rape, theft, and other crimes. These things are clearly bad, right?

Of course they are. We humans call those things bad, they are the definition of bad which society has agreed upon. Yet the subtle truth remains: they are not inherently bad.

Our Own Definition

No matter how many people agree on their badness, likely the whole human race except perhaps some psychopaths, the fact remains that we made the definition and assigned it to these things. Bad is the word we use to describe these things, and these things are how we describe what it means to be bad. It is our definition. It comes from our perception, it is not a fundamental truth of reality – bad things didn’t exist before we did.

There is an immense amount of power in recognizing this subtle truth, in recognizing that nothing is inherently good or bad. For the record, I agree that murder and rape are bad, I’m not trying to change the societal agreement on what’s good or bad here, I’m offering you a path to peace – a way out of suffering.

How We Create Suffering

When we get caught up in labeling the events of our lives as good or bad, we often become entrenched in victimhood and miss opportunities for growth. To be a victim is to suffer, and many people choose to be victims yet would not consciously choose to suffer. Their behavior is at odds with their wish to end suffering, but they can’t see that yet. It’s likely that even their choice to be a victim is an unconscious one, for they may not realize they have the choice in the first place.

When life is unacceptable to us, we fight it. We complain and cry out “how can you do this to me” as if life were out to get us. Of course it isn’t, but if we take on the role of the victim then there must be a perpetrator.

In this state of victimhood, we are lost and confused. Life happens, it doesn’t happen to you – it just happens. Events take place, you play a role or you don’t, and then other events unfold as a result. Event A leads to event B, B leads to C, and so on. Things happen, then we label them as good or bad.

Our labeling provides no benefit besides as a moral compass; beyond knowing what is good or bad of you to do, the labels of good or bad only create suffering.

Returning to Peace through Acceptance

If you can expand your perspective and recognize that nothing is inherently good or bad, you can return to peace by accepting reality as it is.

Good things lead to bad things, bad things lead to good. This is the way things are. None of it has any impact on your mental state unless you allow it, unless you give it your power.

There is a lesson behind every experience, but I don’t mean a concrete lesson – I don’t mean that if something bad happens you will get a revelation to change your lifestyle in some specific way, sometimes bad shit happens like getting hit by a drunk driver or being abused by someone that has no clear “lesson” like that.

By lesson, I mean the opportunity to accept the unacceptable. This is the practice. As you learn to accept the unacceptable, you can maintain inner peace even in the most chaotic of situations.

Accepting the unacceptable is like taking your power back from the outside world: it will no longer affect your mental state once you’ve accepted it as it is.